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The Bob and Larry Show/Transcript
This is a transcript for the episode The Bob and Larry Show. Transcript (Scene opens in Bob and Larry’s kitchen, where Bob is brushing his stem leaves with a hairbrush.) Bob: So, Larry, are you ready for a new performance? (Bob tosses the hairbrush aside.) Larry: Oh, yeah. Wait. Was that my hairbrush? I’ve been looking for that. Bob: Yeah, so I’ve heard. You know, starting our own show might have been your best idea ever. Larry: Break a leg! Bob: I would if I had one. (Bob and Larry leave the kitchen. There is an audience outside composed of Laura Carrot, Tina Celerina, Granny Asparagus, a corn man, and a carrot woman. They clap as theme music starts to play.) Bob and Larry: (singing) It’s the Bob and Larry Show (The audience laughs as the show begins.) Bob: Welcome to The Bob and Larry Live Show. Have we got a great show for you. Larry: I don’t know. Have we? Bob: Of course we have. Today, we’re gonna fire you out of a cannon. (The camera pans to see a cannon beside Bob and Larry.) Larry: (gasps) That is a great show! (Larry jumps in the cannon headfirst and gets stuck, making the audience laugh as Larry’s lower half wiggles around. We then pan over to the sink, where we see Beau Rockley and his cameraman, Kyle, walking.) Beau: I need a new television program, Kyle. Something that’s gonna get us a huge audience. Kyle: Well, you could make a good show. Beau: Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah. You leave the thinking to me. (That’s when Beau hears the laughter caused by the audience of The Bob and Larry Live Show. He sees them and goes over to see what they’re watching. Larry, who has freed himself from the rocket and is now wearing a helmet, is preparing himself to do the cannon launch.) Beau: What’s this? What are you all watching? Tina: The Bob and Larry Live Show! Beau: What is it? Tina: A live show. Beau: Starring? Tina: Bob and Larry! Beau: Makes sense. Tina: It’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen! (Larry is now in the cannon the proper way. Bob is getting a target ready for Larry to hit.) Bob: Ready, Larry? (Bob goes behind the cannon to get ready to launch Larry.) Larry: Blast me out of this cannon! (Bob fires the cannon, but he yelps as he and the cannon go backwards. Larry stays where he is, then falls to the ground, and the target falls over shortly afterward, making the audience laugh again.) Tina: Everyone loves it! Beau: Everyone? Everyone of all ages? Laura & Granny: They make me laugh until milk shoots out of my nose. (Beau gets a sly look on his face when he hears this.) Beau: I think I’ve found my next hit show. (Bob is now sitting on the couch, holding a coffee mug. Larry is nowhere in sight.) Bob: I’m not sure where Larry went, but that’s our show. (big boom, then Larry screaming heard off screen) We’ll see you next week. (Larry bumps into Bob, causing Bob to drop the mug and sending them both back into the kitchen’s direction.) Larry: Thanks for coming! (A loud crash is heard off screen. Scene switches to the kitchen, where Larry is lying on the floor and Bob is on the table.) Bob: Another solid performance. Larry: We sure make a great comedy duo, Bob. What’s our secret? Bob: I’d say it’s our loyalty. What could possibly get between two friends who are completely loyal to one another? (That’s when Beau enters the kitchen.) Beau: Hello. Bob & Larry: Aah! Beau: Are you Bob and Larry from The Bob and Larry Show? Bob: Beau, you’ve met us both multiple times. Beau: Hmm… doesn’t ring a bell. (Beau hops out of the kitchen before Kyle peeks in.) Kyle: You’ll get used to it. (Kyle goes to follow Beau. Bob and Larry leave the kitchen shortly afterwards.) Beau: I’m looking for a brand new show, and The Bob and Larry Show is exactly the kind of thing I’m looking for. Bob: We already have a show. Why should we go with you? Beau: I’ll get you costumes. Special effects. And most importantly, I want to put you on TV. Larry: (quickly) I’m sorry, but it sounded like you said you wanted to put us on TV. Beau: (chuckles) It didn’t sound like I said that. Because I did say that. (chuckles) (Larry gets a shocked look on his face.) Larry: I’m gonna faint. Bob: Careful. Deep breaths! (Bob tries to keep Larry from falling on the floor, but it happens anyway.) Beau: (chuckles) Hey, you keep that up mister, and I’ll make you a television star. Larry: (gasps) Really? Bob: Let’s not forget, it’s The Bob and Larry Show. If we do this, you can’t get in the way. Beau: I wouldn’t dream of it. I’ll just give little suggestions here and there. (chuckles) So, are you in? Bob & Larry: We’re in! Beau: Great! Tomorrow morning, we begin rehearsals on the new, improved, and televised Bob and Larry Show. (Scene switches to the next morning, where Bob and Larry are practicing in the living room.) Larry: Around the rough and rugged rock, the ragged rascal ran. Around - Beau: All right, people. Are we ready to have a good show? You’re gonna do great. Bob, love your script, but I made a few changes. (Beau knocks the old script from Bob’s invisible hands and hands him the new one.) Bob: You changed my script? Beau: Oh, just little things here and there. Bob: This looks completely different. Larry: I see a lot more “Larry”. Beau: Oh, it’s nothing. (chuckling) It’s nothing. (takes a deep breath) I also changed the theme song. Bob: Changed the theme? To what? (Theme music plays.) Bob & Larry: (singing) It’s The Bob and Larry Show Larry: (singing) He’s Bob Bob: (singing) He’s Larry Larry: (singing) I’m Larry Bob: (singing) I’m Bob Bob & Larry: (singing) We’re vegetables who walk and talk And happen to be bald And we’re true friends We’re best bros A cucumber, a tomato That’s what we are That’s how we roll On The Bob and Larry Show Larry: (singing) He’s red Bob: (singing) He’s green Larry: (singing) He’s short Bob: (singing) He’s tall Bob & Larry: (singing) We come complete with hands and feet That are invisible And we’re true friends We’re best bros A cucumber, a tomato That’s what we are That’s how we roll On The Bob and Larry Show It’s The Bob and Larry Show (Explosions and lasers go off in Bob and Larry’s house as the song ends.) Beau: (chuckles) Pretty cool, huh? Bob: I don’t remember doing that. Larry: Wow! I knew explosions were great. And I knew lasers were great. Bob: When did you film that? Larry: But explosions and lasers together? Turns out it’s great. Beau: All right, let’s run through the beginning. Places, people! (Bob and Larry gasp before Beau gets of their set. The former two get into position.) Beau: Whenever you’re ready. Bob: (reading) “Welcome to The Bob and Larry Show. Allow us to introduce ourselves. This is my cucumber friend, Larry.” Larry: (reading) “And I’m his cucumber friend, Larry.” (Recorded laughter is heard shortly afterward. Bob and Larry become confused when they hear it.) Bob: What was that? Beau: Oh, it’s recorded laughter. I can play it whenever you tell a joke. It lets the people watching at home know when to laugh. Bob: Shouldn’t the punchline do that? (The recorded laughter is heard again.) Larry: (laughing) I didn’t get it, but then, I heard that laughter, and now I can’t stop laughing. (laughs) Bob: (groans) (Scene switches to later in the day. A bell rings, signifying rehearsals are complete.) Beau: Great rehearsal today, people. Tomorrow’s show is going to be huge. Huge, I tell you. Huge! (Bob sighs and walks off.) Beau: Say, Larry, can I talk to you real quick? You know, just between you and me, you are the star of the show. Larry: Really? Beau: Oh, yes. You’re the one everyone tunes in to see. That tomato brings the energy down. So, tomorrow, during the show, why don’t you do the whole grand finale by yourself? Larry: Sounds like you’re asking me to steal Bob’s part. Beau: (laughs) That’s seriously what I’m asking. Larry: What about Bob? Beau: Oh, I think it’ll be mucho funnier this way. Just think about all the laughs you’ll get. (chuckles) Double the laughter. Larry: I’ll do it. Beau: Great. You let Bob know. I’ll see you tomorrow, kid. (Larry gets an uneasy look on his face. Scene transitions to Bob’s room, where Bob is holding a page of his script.) Bob: (reading) “Why’d the two melons have such a long engagement? ‘Cause they cantaloupe!” (confused) Cantaloupe? (realizing) Oh, can’t elope. I get it. (That’s when Larry opens the bedroom door.) Larry: Bob? (Bob: Huh?) Bob? Buddy? Pal? What you up to? Bob: Just practicing my jokes. I wanna have a good show tomorrow. Larry: Me, too. Say, you know the big pie finale at the end? Here’s a thought. How ‘bout I do the whole thing and you sit it out? (quickly) Okay, goodbye. (Larry tries to leave, but Bob stops him.) Bob: Wait, wait, wait. (confused) You wanna cut me from the pie bit? Larry: I think it’ll be funnier that way, uh, don’t you? (Bob gains a look on his face that makes it look like he’s about to cry.) Bob: (whimpers) Larry: Aah! (Larry quickly grabs a sock and book. He puts the book over Bob’s eyes and the sock over Bob’s mouth.) Larry: I knew you’d see it my way. See you tomorrow. (After Larry leaves, the book and sock fall off a dejected Bob’s face. Scene transitions to black, then to the next day. A camera moves out of the way to show an annoyed Bob sitting on the couch.) Bob: Thanks for watching the first episode of the new and improved Bob and Larry Show. (yelling) Larry! Come say goodbye to the audience. (Larry comes out of the kitchen holding two pies.) Larry: Sure thing, Bob. I was just finishing up two celebratory pies for us to - (Larry then pretends to trip.) Larry: Whoa! Got it. Whoo. Heads up. Pies coming through. (Larry goes through the finale motions as the recorded laughter plays. Larry loses track of the pies, but when he looks behind him…) Larry: Aah! (The pies come sailing straight toward him! He soom comes back holding the pies, but he pretends to trip again, and the pies land on him.) Larry: Gah! Goodbye. Thanks for watching! (Bob has been looking at the camera in an annoyed manner the whole time Larry was messing with the pies.) Bob: (annoyed) Yeah. Thanks. (Party favors squeak and confetti flies through the air.) Beau: And we’re clear. Gentlemen, look at me. Ratings are through the roof! You’re a hit! You’re a sensation! You’re- Bob: You mean Larry is. He cut me from the pie bit! Larry: We just thought it’d be funnier that way. Bob: “We”? You both planned this? No, this isn’t what we signed up for. Beau, we’re done. Show’s over. Beau: Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down. Larry, what do you think? Larry: Uh… Uh… I liked it? Bob: Well, it’s gonna be hard to do The Bob and Larry Show without Bob. Beau: Shouldn’t be too hard. (Beau dashes to the edge of the countertop.) Beau: Hey, you there. How’d you like to star in a TV show seen by millions of veggies? Madame Blueberry: Well, that sounds wonderful. I’ve been looking for a new hobby. (Beau dashes back to Bob and Larry.) Beau: There. We now have The Larry and Whoever-That-Was Show. Bob: Larry? Is this what you want? I thought we were loyal to each other, not the show. (Larry’s silence answers Bob’s question. He sighs sadly and hops away.) Beau: Don’t let him get you down, kid. Now this show’s really gonna shine! (Larry smiles at Beau, but turns away and starts pondering something. Scene switches to the next day.) Beau: Today’s show is gonna be gold. I can feel it! You two together are unstoppable. (Bob comes down the stairs, and Beau notices.) Beau: What is he doing here? (Madame Blueberry and Larry turn to look at Larry.) Bob: I live here. But don’t worry, I’m not gonna ruin your show. I’ll be at Pa’s shop if anyone needs me. (Bob walks off screen and leaves.) Beau:Now, I know this is last minute, but I have a new idea for the show. Stay with me now. I’m just brainstorming here, but what if we did… Are you ready? …a pie-eating contest for the whole show? Larry: What? That’s a terrible idea! Madame Blueberry: (gasps) Can it feature my strawberry-rhubarb pie? Beau: I don’t see why not. Madame Blueberry: I’m in! Beau: Perfect. Get going on those pies, guys. (chuckles) (Madame Blueberry rushes to the kitchen to bake. Larry stays behind.) Larry: Wait, I thought we were just brainstorming. Beau: When I said “brainstorming”, what I meant was, “We are definitely doing this.” Larry: But that’s not the show. The show is supposed to sketches and comedy and stories with me and… Bob. I don’t wanna do this. Beau: What? We’re about to go live. You owe me! I made you a star. Where’s your loyalty, kid? With the show? Or that tomato? (Larry looks down at the pie he’s holding. Scene switches to Bob sitting sadly at the snack bar at Pa’s store, holding a milkshake.) Pa: I’m sorry you lost your show, Bob. Bob: That’s show business for ya. TV Announcer: And now it’s time for The Larry and Whoever-That-Was Show! (Bob and Pa look at the TV.) Pa: Want me to turn it off? Bob: Nah, that’s okay. (Bob looks back at the TV. After the theme song finishes, the viewer sees an empty room. Bob is confused by the sight.) Bob: Where’s Larry? Larry: I’m right here. (Camera pans to show that Larry, who is also holding a milkshake, is sitting right beside Bob! Bob is so startled he shouts as he falls off his stool. However, he just as quickly gets back on.) Bob: Larry, what are you doing here? Your show's on. Larry: The only show I wanna be on is our show. I’m sorry I wasn't loyal. I’d rather lose the show than lose my friend. Bob: I’m glad to have you back. But I wonder what’s gonna happen to the show. (Bob and Larry look at the TV, curious to see what will happen. The camera zooms into the TV, just as Beau appears on screen.) Beau: This is terrible! We have no show! (We go back to Bob and Larry’s house, where Madame Blueberry is carrying a huge stack of pies.) Madame Blueberry: Pies are done. Where shall I place them? Kyle: Just toss ‘em straight ahead. Madame Blueberry: Heads-up! (Madame Blueberry starts tossing the pies. However, she doesn’t realize she’s tossing them in Beau’s direction! He notices the pies flying toward him, and starts dodging them.) Beau: Aah! Ow! (whimpers) (Eventually, one hits him square in the face. Scene goes back to the snack bar at Pa’s store. Bob and Larry have seen what happened, and they are laughing at the sight.) Bob & Larry: (laughing) Bob: Now this is a show I’d watch. (Bob and Larry clink their milkshake glasses together. The camera zooms into the TV again. Beau is still getting hit by pies.) Beau: No! (grunts) That’s yummy. Aah! (The last pie make Beau’s face hit and slide down the camera filming him. The TV turns off after that, ending the episode.) Category:VeggieTales in the House transcripts Category:Transcripts Category:Finished Transcripts